I love love. I love Valentines Day. I am also a great believer that many of the best things in life are free and in this case I am talking about words. So whether you are someone who is prone to skipping Valentines Day because its too commercial or you love it but are after something different to do this year then stay with me for one of my favourite Valentine ideas . . .
How often do you communicate to the people around you the things you love and appreciate about them? I'm talking here about the specific things you love. Have you ever written them down?
For my first V-Day with Rob* (now my husband *story for a future post) I was presented with a list of 100 reasons why he loved me, we had been dating for 3 months #hesakeeper. It was one of the most nourishing things to ever happen to my heart and one of the best gifts I've ever received.
Fast-forward 9, of our 11 years together, and 2 little babies (at that point) and things were much rockier for us. 2017 was the first difficult marriage year we journeyed together. We had a 3 year old and a fresh newborn. Feeding issues, sleep deprivation, financial pressures and grief after a momentous family loss of Frances, my mother-in-law were just the tip of the iceberg. I was loving motherhood, and relished the chance to spend extra time with my babies having been working full time but Rob was picking up all the financial slack and working 10 hour days to supplement the maternity leave budget.
We had hurt each other. I felt completely disconnected from him. I missed him.
Over time, I could feel my heart hardening towards him, fear telling me it would be safer to keep him at a distance and that I should protect myself from being hurt. But I know that fear and love are rivals - they cannot exist in the same space. So, I made a conscious decision to keep taking steps towards him. He was working loooong days, often coming home after I'd gone to bed so I committed to doing one romantic/thoughtful gesture for him each day. Not in an effort to change how he felt about me but in order to discipline my heart which was ready to retreat.
After a couple of weeks, things were different for me and my attitude towards him. *Here is where I circle back to words* I sat with a stack of post-it notes and a sharpie and I began to write. To note down the things I loved about him. To force myself to focus on the noble, pure, lovely admirable man he was *and he truly is my favourite* and something shifted. My heart swelled with love for him and the fear was gone.
I stuck the notes to our bathroom mirror for him to wake up to. They stayed on our mirror for weeks, neither of us ready to take them down. It marked for me, the beginning of our journey back - commemorated by a post it note!
What would you write on a post-it for the people you love? Maybe that might be a game-changer for you this Valentines Day?